Humbly Dedicated to:

  • Søren Kierkegaard

  • A dream I had

Humanity has gone through a lot – from the first human who didn’t know what will happen if you touch fire to that one guy who knew what will happen if you drop an atomic bomb. But each one of these moments moved us one step to being what we are now, no matter how. Each decision, from deciding to murder in the name of a king or a god to going into the unknown space to find out what’s out there. Each decision was a step in human evolution and unlike humans, nature doesn’t look at it as a step forward or a step backward, it’s just a step somewhere. Evolution doesn’t choose, it just does.

Before my mother died she told me the story of the people who lived 4000 years ago, the same people who looked at progress as a series of ups and downs. She told me: „Marianne, people before didn’t know everything and people who lived back then were afraid to die.“

My mother died just two days before the annual Tribute Festival and although we were planning to go together, I went alone. She died on Monday, I buried her on Tuesday, and went to the festival on Wednesday.

Unlike 4000 years ago when people were mentally separated,  today humans have evolved to the point where everyone is mentally connected. We can feel what everyone else is feeling, we can think all the collective thoughts, but still, every human is an individual. On the other hand, just like humans that lived 4000 years ago we still fight, love, cry, help each other and we still curse the person that cuts the line when waiting at the post office.  But yes, we are all mentally connected, all 3 billion people. Mother also told me the population was much bigger before.

Another thing we have what past people didn’t, is the ability to know everything. At one point together with the mental connection, the human brain evolved the ability to know everything there is to know. We 100% know every answer to every question, except for questions that revolve around future like for example „Who will win the next World Cup in Football (soccer)?“ or „Will time travel be invented in the next 100 years?“. Funny enough, some of my friends hope brain will never evolve to the point of knowing the future as sports and other competitions would become obsolete. Same goes for time travel.

And yes, there’s also that one other question we don’t know the answer to. The question of „Why?“. Why we don’t know the answer to „Why“? I don’t know, trust me.

Let me give you a very simple example. We all know 2+2 is 4, but nobody knows why 2+2 is 4. To give you a more complex and impressive example, we all know god doesn’t exist, something people before us didn’t know, but we don’t know why it doesn’t exist.

Now, let me explain to you what the Tribute Festival is and how it is connected to everything. Tribute Festival is exactly what the name says – a festival that pays tribute. Every year all around the world the festival is held to pay tribute to the things people before the „brain evolution“ didn’t know. So you have various groups who do all kinds of performances.

This year I saw a performance where a group of people was kneeling in front of a large statue and mumbling words. It was what people before called praying. Another group was reenacting the attempt of trying to find out how to teleport stuff. They would put a tomato in one place and it would appear all smooshed up 5 feet further. A third group which I personally found boring, was performing a debate where they discussed „what’s the meaning of life“.

I don’t know if you’ll understand this, but „No“ or „I don’t know“ is also an answer. Funny, we know almost everything, but we will never know how exactly the mind of people before functioned. All right, we don’t know everything.

Now, you got to understand, this festival isn’t held to mock the people who lived prior to the „brain evolution“, it’s a simple way to pay respect to past cultures and traditions. It’s the most important event humanity currently has; the event of honoring those before us.

Now that I explained how the world functions today, I know some of you might say: „ It’s such a calming thing to know everything, I wish we had that back when I was alive.“

This is why I’m writing this letter to you dear person, the one who’s no longer alive.

While knowing all the technical and spiritual answers is helpful and it makes many things less complicated, I can’t help but to feel dismayed every now and then. Yes, I know god doesn’t exist, but why doesn’t she exist? Yes, I know life is all about moving somewhere, but why is it like that? Why isn’t life all about standing still for example?  Why did nature decide humans are the one who’ll move and speak, while plants will be the creatures that stand at one place for their entire life?

I know the atomic bomb caused such a devastating destruction because during an atomic explosion fission happens, which produces energy for nuclear power. I know fission happens when nuclear fuels are struck by fission neutrons. I know why nuclear fuels are struck by neutrons!!! I know why humans are born and they die, but why why why???!!!!

I’m trapped in an infinite cycle where I see, hear, feel everything, but I don’t know why I see, hear, and feel everything, instead of nothing. Worst of all, I don’t know why I ask myself these questions and I don’t know why am I writing this letter. I mean, I do know. I’m writing this letter because I feel this terrible anguish, but why do I feel this terrible anguish???!!?!

Sometimes I feel although human brain has evolved, the human mind has stayed the same. Same as people before were constantly troubled with what happens after death, I am here troubled with why? How deep does the rabbit hole go and why won’t it stop? What’s the use of knowing everything when every new answer has another question just waiting to start the loop all over again?

Why my dear reader who’s no longer alive? Why aren’t you no longer alive?


Icon Credit: decision by TukTuk Design from the Noun Project

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